She: I opened him
Nar: This deed felt so unusual to her that she looked at herself curiously while doing it.
She: The death endure.
She: Stirred trough your blood I course through your veins, drip through your pores
Your heart feeds of me, like flowers sprout on corpses
I will leave trough your eyes, your ears, your mouth
Nar: It’s dark, but the waning night contains no terror
She: His upper-body is placed on his hips like a king on a throne
Nar: In her subtle thread resounds the heavy splendour of a barbarian
Nar: It’s the physical repulsion of the first hour, from the murderer to the murdered
She: life is not so gross anymore now
Nar: To let her fall asleep, there comes slowly the real night
the starcrested night
She: my spirit keeps spawning beautiful phantasms
but until now none of these have found a solite state
never, not once
and yet even the slightest daydream renders my throat barren
despair scorches my eyes, shame lowers my head
and my dreams swiftly flee
i know that, yet again, the possibility of hapiness slips through my fingers
it flees because i’ve dreamt
//
now
whats interesting is David Hume's understanding of the LACK of self, and his metaphor of a THEATRE, " since man is himself a fable and a play"
and your self-sucker is performing a sort of "choreography" in space, rotating and whirling around like a WHIRLING DERVISH
Hume’s use of the metaphor certainly responds to the Enlightenment tradition of theatrum mundi. Yet, it goes well beyond it. The theatricality of the self in Hume is more than a metaphor: is a way of understanding human nature in the space opened up by the presence of the other.
the stage metaphor in Hume becomes a window into the theatrical nature of the self.
The theatre of the mind is the image Hume finds best suited to represent our being “in a perpetual flux and movement.” “The mind is a kind of theatre, where several perceptions successively make their appearance; pass, re-pass, glide away, and mingle in an infinite variety of postures and situations.”

what makes you - YOU?
Theatre of the mind
yeah, but
don't play too hard
Or you fall of stage?
or you get STUCK
and then need surgical intervention
so take it easy
//
you prefer to love or to consume?
He invites us to join in one of the most pressing struggles of the day: the defense, that is to say—the “reinvention” of love.
(quote)
To be dead to love, Han argues, is to be dead to thought itself.
and i am not talking about "pick-up love for one night stands
I Would say to love but I'm not even sure of that
Because its not as easy as it sounds
true
is your self-sucker a lover or consumer?
Sexuality is the commodification of the body. When Han writes about porn, he describes how it removes sex. Watching porn is not watching sex because the performance removes all
mystery and secrecy. This lack disallows eros. “What is obscene about pornography is not an excess of sex, but that it contains no sex at all” (29). Han states porn is “bare life on display”, a state of neither sex nor sexuality. In a wandering section, Han evokes Agamben’s concept of profanation of rituals and the sacred but marks “the world is becoming more naked and more obscene” (32 and 33). While this section offers a sense of what porn does to love, it also begins making headway into examining the loss of Eros in a broader culture media and consumer culture.
and last but not least:
It is only in the negative, a liminal space, that we can encounter the experience of the Other. Contemporary culture avoids the negative by consuming only positives. Han states that consumer culture creates new media images and narratives that create new wants and needs, but desire requires the Other (37). This proliferation of messages undermines Eros by creating choices that negate desire for the other by fulfilling the consumer demand. The consumer is the self and sexuality is not the Other. Han offers sexuality as “the habitual, which reproduces the Same”
the consumer is THE SELF...
the self-sucker is a self-exploitator

which in return connects to your initual dilemma: capital or freedom?
but this is a paradoxical dilemma!!!
because excess of freedom means excess of capital as he says
so once YOU are aware of this, perhaps you'd liek to re-formulate your initial dilemma?
(i am beings erious)
the dilemma is not between : do i wanna end in the art market as an artist in the future or in the "independent" , allegedly free working / living conditions
the dillema is : SELF or THE OTHER
self-consumption (self-exploitation , self-sucking) OR love re-invented
got it babe?
//
Since the first messengers a lot has changed
Their words which had a simple and profound message have been shat upon
Many religions and beliefs have seen the world, often conflicting with others, in defendance of the one truth
These generations upon generations of blindsight
Of collective dissease
Ruled by the form and thoughts
Have brought upon the one true god
A god with a clear form, compassionate and unapoligetic
//
A new earth / a new urge
Misunderstanding
‘spraakverwarring’
Stuck in a cycle ( of conflict, of broken communication, of disillusion, of confusement )
Berserk
The acrbobat
The berserk acrobat
Ego is cultivated by male powerstructures?
Self-help book towards enlightment
Golden planet in space, color of current value
Multidemsional world
Static element – dynamic element
Auto-felatio
Violence versus pleasure / eros vs thanatos
TARTAROS
Narcissism – self-destruction, self feeding, child feeding itself with its own onmatured breast
Narcissus- self-destruction
-
Danger of drowning by watching himself in the mirror, LEANING to far forward, leaning into his own mirror image, break his back from leaning to far
(sakoma metrohealen)
Selfie-boy suicide
Pleasure by self-cetredness / THREAT OF SELFDESTRUCTION
Feeling inbetween urge to destroy because of meaninglessness vs urge to build and create
RISK
DECOLONIZE the being
Decolonization of the mind, of the power
Different facets of the body, the transforming body
Body as a landscape, body in abstaction, body as a piece of meat, emapty container of the soul but still the animal that we are is aonly attracted to bodies, dualistic being of soul and body that cannot be one
Amon aurohoros
//
Not infrequently / our worlview becomes conditioned
Our ancestors couldn’t ever have dreamed
The emerging sense of social justice
Thoughts can spread as a virus
These things will not affect you deeply
All life forms need obstacles and challenges
In order to evolve
Allowing it to be as it is
If you are hearing this
If you stay present and do not succumb to fear
If you not believe the them
When they tell you
That you should be afraid
A new earth
Earth
The first flower ever to appear / on the planet
Opens up to receive the rays of the sun
Suddenly there would have been an explosion
Of color and scent
All over the planet
(If someone had been there to witness it)
those delicate and fragrant beings developed
It was most likely the first thing they came to value
(that had no utilitarian purpose for them)
seeing it could awaken humans
(however briefly)
to the beauty
they would be a bridge between the world of physical forms and the formless
what could be heavier and more impenetrable
they didnt become better at it
but transcended it entirly
they are fragile / delicate
not yet firmly established in materiality
it becomes a window into the formless
can human beings lose the destiny
of their conditioned mind structures
they were precarious / rare / and precious beings
is humanity more ready now
a glimpse is enough to initiate it
for many others it has allready begun
it will accelerate and intesify
The sacred feminine was declared demonic
And an entire dimension largely dissapeared
from human experience
a case history of insanity
BUT THINGS ARE CHANGING RAPIDLY NOW